I'll make ur head turn.. twice, and if not then three.

"You can be my moon, and I can be your sun.
Together we can have a mun.
But feelings are scattered, like a tear on the ground.
And yet, I can't believe it's you, I found. "

I bet you that if i tried, and even if didnt try i can still get more ass than you!, but i dont put myself out like that!. XD I wasn't cut out to be a prostitute. I am yearning for LOVE.

"Memories"---> He might just pop outta nowhere!. J&R maybe. Starbucks..? Oh oh! I know! Virgin!.

You make me get a chill down my spine every time we make accidental contact.

You make fall in love when we purposely make contact.

__________________________________________________<3 this wont last long. so i'll enjoy it while i can.

"SHE WAS MY GIRL" by JERRY CANTRELL

Copacetic, calm my frenetic, she's the s**t y'all
Highly-rated, well-educated, she's an angel
She's ambitious, beautiful, delicious, got a restaurant
I can take it, truth stripped me naked, yeah I f**ked up...yeah

She was my girl
Used to be my world
I miss my girl
What a fine girl

She put together, says she's doing better since she let go
Repeated dreamer, now and then I see her and we have lunch
Ever playful, hook the jumper cable, give me fresh spark
Sister ringing, old reminder stinging, bridges burned hoss...yeah

Chorus (times two)

She called me up, I guess she pretty stuck, she needed my help
It made me happy, hence the lyric sappy, I still love her...yeah

Chorus (times two)

Such a fine girl
I miss my girl
Used to be my world
She was my girl

~~~~~~~

What are some other great songs that will never be forgotten. This song is shiznitt nigguh. <3 love it.

I've been in a writing mood lately. He he. Yeah well.. Sam and Nikko aren't talking. AB came back from D.R. It's my last week of school and money is tight which means going back to school shopping will be hard because my mind is going to be filled with guilt. I'm guessing Mali's mom is alright. Last time I heard she was doing better. Larissa "Whale" is still in Brazil and having a blast (i'm sure). I wish I was grown up with my dream job which is now different than acting. I want to be a magazine designer or something like that. Some things I'd like to try are these:

1. Acting- I'd like to give this a shot, because I get super inspired when I see a play or a monologue and stuff. It's pretty cool, i think playing a different character. I've always been like that. Always wanting to be someone different the next morning or the next day. It fascinates me.
2. Photography- It's a beautiful art seeing how different lighting and poses can look os good when you just make that click. I think it's too much work though. However, guy photographers have a good eye and most of 'em are super cute <3
3. Some type of position in a band- I think it'd be cool to be on tour, and after seeing 'The Rocker' it makes me want to do it even more. I've never been comfortable for girls to be in bands, but i'm more flexible about it now, it depends on the girls' singing, i think. Hmm.

Well, obviously i've got more to think about it. But I just like to dream about it i guess. What I want right now though is someone to love. It's been a while. But good guys are hard to find. ;} so ditzyy when it comes to boizz. I NEED A BOYFRIEND. oh well. he he.

well, i'm bored. so peace.

My title for this journal happens to be a great song by The Beatles. "Yesterday".

The title is also the way i felt yesterday. I wish it hadn't come to an end, because when my friends left, i felt all alone in my house. Feeling so lonely. I called Amalia, but i hung up afterwards, because her mom was going into surgery today. Well, i think i felt a little more weird because i showed nikko THE journal.
I start off by saying how Sam might be coming back next week after being in the hospital that seemed to last forever. Then i start talking about my new H.S. (which right now I rlly rlly rlly wish i was back at RKA) Then I start writing about eighth grade and howtheres so much drama. And the day before June 3rd I had talked to Nikko on aim, and i told him i was going to miss him so much when i got to H.S. (which is true) but he didnt believe me. "What makes me sad is that half the people i love, don't even know it. Take for example, Nikko. I told him I was going to miss him terribly, since this is my last year. he told me he hadn't expected that from me". I think my realtionship with Nikko is still the same from the time i told him that, but slightly different. We're not trying to kill each other now. Which is good I guess. I relate it to the song "Over and Over" by three days grace. I am dying to know what he thought about after he read the journal, i owed him. i just didnt think he'd rmmbr. -_-  Yeah, yesterday was fun though. I missed seeing my friends. :))))))) I LUV EM.

"Over And Over"

I feel it everyday it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

It feels like everyday stays the same
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try to

i knew I had to tell him sometime. I mean, we never really sat down and talked. And even then we didn't sit down and talk face to face. He had all these questions for me, and they were based on what David had told him. I simply was mad at the fact that we were so childish back then, but then again it was 8th grade. Stupidity, bunch of kids' stuff ya know?. And i killed myself over after the event had happened because I felt like i had hurt him so much. I don't know what I feel now. Sitting here right now with my kitty in my lap, reading this, I wish me and him were closer. Or maybe i just miss that connection me and Javier used to have. Because, clearly that is lost. And after him I never found someone i could just.. I dunno.. feel the same with. And so i had this fantasy that maybe him and I.. you know could develop that. But now i just realize that's stupidity. Ad I re-read this over, I feel like I sound so old. Well, now i just feel like i'm avoiding the topic so here it goes. 8/13/08 was weird, and seriously twisted. I was talking to Nikko about how his trip to florida went and stuff like that, and outta no where he just started talking about "us" and what we previously had, right?. Kinda weird cause I just wanted that to be over with and done with it. I'm tired of talking about it. But he wasn't like demanding or anything, he was soft with it. Besides, it was time everything went out on the table right?. So he finally knows what went down and everything that happened. And he was telling me like how if that stuff didnt happen, we'd still be together. And i was just like oh god, not again. Besides I know something that he doesnt know that I know. I dont know wanna tell him I know though, because it's kind of private. It's kind of wrong, but oh well. But at the same time, I was talking to him, I was talking to sam, and she kept asking if I was alright. I wonder why. (yes, this means you explain to me why you thought i was acting weird or something). So this was our seconds most real "deep" conversation, and i meantioned the first one while we were talking. I told him about the time i told him that I still like him at the end  of 8th grade. I dont know why i did it. But he told Javier. and i knew he told javier because javier told sam, and sam told me. -_- would've been nice not to tell the whole world, nikko. But whatever, nobody really talked to me about it. Supposedlly he said we were the 3rd most known couple but i was like nahh.. i dont think so. He was telling me how much he changed and whatnot. Yeah nikko, pretty much everyone can tell. Well, later on i get a phone call and i hear that sam and nikko are headed my way to my house, and i was flipping out. I was like OMG. So I actually put on makeup, and i tried to smell my best, and look my best, but in the end i looked like crap. if sam ever puts the pictures up, i will too. Jeez i looked terrible. Well.. we went to KFC, MAD AKWARD. But i got used to it later, and we all started laughing, especially with the lizard man.. i just couldnt help but laugh soooo loud. omg that was hilarious. lol